As of May 19th, our baby angel Makenna is a whole four months old. It's unbelievable to me how much she has grown and changed since the day she was born! I look at our old pictures of her and am just amazed. At her four-month checkup, her doctor said she looked perfect. (Um...of course!) He also let us know that it was time to start introducing solid food. I have to tell you, I was SO excited about this! Even though it's just rice cereal to start, it's such a big step for us!
That evening, I went out and bought my first box of Gerber Rice Cereal. I read the box carefully and had her little spoons all washed and ready to go. I then realized I didn't have one thing - baby bowls! Oh well. An "adult" bowl would do just as well, but I made a mental note to buy some cute baby bowls as soon as possible (which, of course, I did!).
Since Chad had to work longer hours the next day, we waited until Friday to start our solid food adventure. After all, Daddy could NOT miss her first bite of cereal! I got the table all ready for her that morning - towel spread out (because there were sure to be spills and drips), Bumbo all set up (no highchair yet - put that on the list, too!), bib ready to go (because we all know how messy this is going to get). Once Makenna was up, we put her in the Bumbo, and she was ready to go!
We mixed up the cereal according to the instructions on the box for her first feeding - one tablespoon of rice cereal with four tablespoons of formula. I knew IMMEDIATELY that the mess was going to be legendary. Daddy took the first turn, and Makenna was none too thrilled with this new development.
I had the video camera, because of COURSE, this was something to remember. The looks she was giving her poor Daddy were priceless!
It took quite a while, with lots of spitting, gagging and squirming, but we managed to get at least half of it in her mouth. Now, whether half of it STAYED in her mouth...that's a different story!
Now, after almost a week, she is up to a mixture two tablespoons of cereal and three of formula, and she is downing it ALL! We finally figured out how this spoon thing is supposed to work, and this morning, she even grabbed it from me and stuck it in her mouth herself! It took lots of trial and error, but we are on our way to real "big girl eating." Next up - bananas and apples. I can't WAIT to see how she likes them!
Cinco de Mayo will always hold a special place in my heart. Last year on this day, we found out that we were expecting. Needless to say, it was extremely welcome news. For those who don't know, I became pregnant for the first time in October 2009. We were SO thrilled, and I started a pregnancy journal to keep track of everything that happened. Unfortunately, the pregnancy ended in miscarriage and a D&C on December 2, 2009 It was completely devastating for us both, and I was so heartbroken that I had a very difficult time for quite a while. I closed my notebook and hid it away, waiting for the day that I could open it again with joyful news. I thought that today, I would post my first entry from the notebook after learning that we were expecting again. I like looking back and reliving those excited and nervous feelings. Hope you enjoy!
I said I wasn't going to open this book until we were pregnant again...and it looks like we are! At the beginning of this week, I really thought I was feeling a little different, but I didn't want to get my hopes up. I was worried that it was just wishful thinking, like every month. It definitely wouldn't have been the first time I got my hopes up, only to have them totally shattered when my period started. These last few months have been pretty terrible, to be honest. I feel like I've had babies and/or pregnant women constantly thrown in my face since December. Every month, there would end up being something that set me off, and I would basically be worthless for two or three days.
This past month was really the worst. I started thinking about the fact that I would most likely not get to have my first child until I was 33 years old. 33!! I always thought I would be finished having children by that age. It really just got to be too much to take. It was literally all I could think about, and I prayed and begged God constantly. I even yelled at God, but mostly, it was constant begging.
Toward the middle of April, BB started talking about auditions for a show. At first, I wasn't really up for it, but the more I thought, I realized it was a good idea. I needed something to distract me from the baby thoughts. So we tried out, and we both got roles! When I found out what my role would be, I really felt like it was some kind of sign. I'm playing a mom, and the girl who is playing my daughter is named Cassidy (which is currently my favorite girls' name). I just had a good feeling about the month, and I even told Jennifer that at church on 4/25. I remember the date because it was the day of Brenna's confirmation.
I knew that Wednesday would probably be the first day I could get an accurate home pregnancy test. It was all I could think about all day, and I went to buy some right after work. I decided to wait to take one until after rehearsal.
All the way home from the theater, I prayed and prayed, almost to the point that I was in tears. When I got home, Chad said he had a surprise for me and showed me a bottle of champagne that he had gotten for this apparently great deal. It was all I could do to stand there and listen because I just wanted to take the test! When I finally got to the bathroom and did my thing, it felt like it took FOREVER. I was in tears just waiting, and when I saw that word - pregnant - I almost couldn't believe it. I thought my heart was going to explode. I walked out to Chad and just handed him the test without saying anything. He got tears in his eyes, smiled and then got up and hugged me. He commented that he seemed to have bought the champagne at the perfect time. I think he was a little surprised because I hadn't mentioned anything about it.
So, my instincts were correct, and we found out on Cinco de Mayo 2010 that we're expecting again! The symptoms have already started, too. I'm getting really tired and sensitive to smells again. We've decided not to tell anyone yet, but we'll see how long that lasts. I'm trying to avoid looking at too much online this time, too. I just need to try to stay calm and focus positive thoughts on this little munchkin. Things have to be different this time.
Our first doctor's appointment is Wednesday, and I'll be about 5 weeks. All I can do right now is pray that things are going well so far and take it one day at a time. It's going to be excruciating to wait, but I know I have to. I'm just going to keep up the positive thinking but try not to think TOO far ahead. God has some BIG thank yous coming His way! :-)
When I was getting ready for the big day when Makenna would arrive, I knew that in some way, I would need to have music involved. I'm kind of a music nut. Not a day goes by when I don't listen to iTunes, an online radio station, the radio in my car, one of those random music channels on TV. I just plain LOVE music, and I also know that it calms me and helps me relax...which we all know is important when you are getting ready to push a child out of your body!
At the childbirth class that Chad and I attended, we practiced breathing each night while our teacher played some "soothing" (i.e. classical) music in the background. I knew immediately that this type of music was not going to cut it for me. I need something I can SING to, not just pianos and violins. So I sat down with my iTunes and began to arrange myself a little Labor and Delivery Playlist.
As I began, I thought I would do two separate lists, one with more upbeat songs and one with slower, more mellow music. I started on the "upbeat" list first, and the more I added to it, the more I realized that I probably wasn't going to want to rock out to "Are You Gonna Be My Girl" by Jet while I was having contractions. So I focused on the "slow" list and started adding to it. I quickly realized that my nurse was probably going to think I was a weirdo. It was one of the oddest mixes of songs you could imagine, but what can I say? I like a variety, people!
In the end, I put together 138 songs, which equaled 8.8 hours of music, starting with "Across the Universe" and ending with "Your Song." Would that be enough, I wondered, to get me through most of labor? Turns out that it was! When little Tootie decided to make her appearance, I still had 10 songs left to go! I totally patted myself on the back for my amazing timing there. Not surprisingly, the list contained a LOT of Broadway music. Did I mention I'm a musical theater nerd? Songs from West Side Story, Aida, Phantom of the Opera, A Chorus Line, The Last Five Years. Here is one of my favorites from the Broadway portion of the list.
(Side note: If you like musical theater and have NOT heard of The Last Five Years...check it out NOW. Amazing music, amazing story, amazing performers (Sherie Rene Scott and Norbert Leo Butz). It's truly a unique and moving show.)
Not surprisingly, three artists topped the list with the most number of songs: The Beatles at 15, Billy Joel at 15 also, and Elton John at 14. I HEART Billy and have seen him twice - once by himself and once with Elton. AMAZING. I sometimes sing this song to little Tooter.
But only ONE Bon Jovi song?!? What was I thinking? At least it was one very special Bon Jovi song - "Thank You For Loving Me," which is the song Chad and I danced to at our wedding.
Now I know some of you might be worried that no random 80's hits made the list. But oh, how wrong you would be! How about "Total Eclipse of the Heart," "Africa" and "True"? Does that float your 80's boat? It did mine! And movie and TV soundtracks were also well-represented, with tunes from Moulin Rouge and, of course, Glee. Who can resist the smoothness of these two voices together?!?!? Matthew Morrison...sigh.
I had old school (Loggins and Messina, Crosby, Stills and Nash), and new school (The Foo Fighters.) A couple of songs were so great, I had them twice, in different versions ("The Way You Look Tonight" by Frank Sinatra AND Michael Buble, and "Your Song" by Elton AND Ewan.)
Yes, my list was well-rounded and exactly what I wanted. Did I listen intently to every single song? Of course not! But I was always conscious of the music playing in the background, and it definitely soothed and calmed me when I needed it. In fact, I still listen to the same playlist when I just want something to help me relax and focus. And one day, I hope that little Tootie will listen and appreciate it, too.
Yes, you read that correctly. But no, she isn't moving to another house, another town, another state. Of course she isn't! She moved across our (rather small) house...to sleep in her crib.
I know exactly what some of you are thinking. BIG DEAL, CRAZY LADY. Well, in this household, it IS a big deal. I doubt it is any huge secret that I might be a slightly clingy first-time mom. I just like knowing that she is right there, and I can just look over and see how she is doing at any time, or take care of anything she needs.
Until yesterday, Makenna has been sleeping in her bassinet. We gradually moved her from the guest room, where we slept the first few weeks, back to our room, with her at the foot of our bed. I loved having her in there with us so that I could get up and take care of her immediately, whenever she needed it.
Unfortunately, Daddy has a VERY difficult time sleeping when Little Miss Fidgety gets going, so he was not getting a whole lot of rest. I REALLY didn't want to move her out of our room because I was nervous that we wouldn't be able to hear her if she got upset. (As if...this house ain't that big, folks.) A couple of weeks ago, Chad convinced me that moving the bassinet just outside our door, to the living room, would be okay. He promised me that we would still be able to hear her just fine. And of course, he was right. And we all slept better!
Our little one is now getting so big, however, that her bassinet just isn't cutting it anymore. She likes to stretch out in all directions when she sleeps, arms straight out to either side, and she just doesn't have the room she needs to do that. I can't believe she is already that big! *sniff* So we made the decision that, starting this week, we would have her sleep in her room, in her crib. We have two baby monitors, so we are set there. **Let me just say that this mommy is NOT a fan of the baby monitor. (Yes, I have seen one too many scary movies...and those things are NEVER come to any good in Scary Movie Land.)** And I KNOW it is way past time to start getting her into a bedtime routine. We both know this, and we WANT to do it. We just...haven't. I know, I know. Bad mommy!
So yesterday evening, I took all of the stuffed animals out of the crib to get it all ready. It looked rather lonely and sad, and putting her in it didn't help much. That crib just SWALLOWS her! But last night, put her in it we did. For at least the first 30 minutes, I kept thinking I was hearing her fuss or squirm, but every time I checked, she was still conked out. She slept eight hours, and we got some great rest ourselves. I guess having her sleep in the crib isn't the WORST idea after all!
If I'm being totally honest, choosing a name for our baby was not really that difficult of a task. Always the one to prepare as far ahead as possible, I began a list of boy and girl names that I liked fairly shortly after we were married. I wanted to make sure that any name I saw or heard that I liked would not be forgotten by the time our little bun was in the oven. Notice I said that the list was of names *I* liked. I'm not sure Chad was even aware the list existed for quite some time.
By the time we discovered we were expecting - on Cinco de Mayo 2010! - the list had grown to include at least 12 names for each gender, and Chad had weighed in on some of his favorites. For a girl, our top choices were names like Cassidy, Harper, Analeigh and Madison. For a boy, Cooper, Logan, Keegan and Finn topped the list. (BEFORE GLEE, people! I promise!)
Once we had the sonogram to confirm the baby's sex - (we won't discuss the expletive that popped out of Chad's mouth at the words, "It's a baby girl!") - then we really got down to the nitty gritty. I put a baby name app on my iTouch so that I could look for ideas that way. Initially, I thought the app was pretty much a bust. I mean, how many ways can you spell the name Jennifer? Too many, apparently. But as I scrolled through, I ran across the name Makenna. I said it in my head a few times - Makenna Morrissey, Makenna Morrissey. It just had such a great ring to it! So I immediately texted Chad to ask what he thought. He wasn't sold on it right away, so I thought I would let it grow on him a bit.
One Sunday, as we were on our way home from our lunch at Panera after church, we started to discuss the baby's name in earnest. Chad mentioned to me that he thought he was really starting to like Makenna, and we repeated it a few times and were really sold. Then it came time for a middle name. Since Makenna Morrissey is already a bit of a mouthful, we decided that a short, one-syllable middle name would be best. We went through several options - Claire, Grace, Rose, and then Paige. I tried in vain to convince Chad that Rose was NOT old-fashioned, nor was it the same as the name Rosa, which only makes me crave Taco Tuesdays. Paige was it - although we DID have a brief moment the weekend before Makenna was born where Rose ALMOST won out, thanks to a little movie called "Titanic" and mommy's crazy hormones.
We looked at both spellings of the name - Makenna and McKenna - and frankly just liked the first version better.
It looked prettier and seemed easier. Oh, how wrong we were. I certainly anticipated having to spell her name for people. What I DIDN'T anticipate was how hard the "Ma" spelling would be for some people to grasp.
"How do you spell that?"
"M-A-K-E-N-N-A."
"M...what?"
"M-A-K-E-N-N-A."
**blank stare**
**sigh**
I honestly even think the two are PRONOUNCED differently. "Muh-kenna" as opposed to "Mick-kenna." But alas, that is no help at all. Don't get me wrong - I still LOVE her name. I think it's beautiful, and I think it fits her absolutely perfectly. I just hope that she learns to spell VERY early on, because she'll be doing it for the rest of her life...
Before I get into the subject of this post, I just have to revel in this moment a bit. My very first blog post!!! Is it weird that I'm a little nervous? It's like stepping up to the microphone, tapping it and saying, "Is this thing on?"
Two and a half months ago yesterday, Chad and I welcomed our beautiful baby girl, Makenna Paige, into the world.
Ten whole weeks! 70 days! 1680 minutes!! You get the idea, I think. It seems amazing to me that she has been a part of our lives for such a relatively short time. I honestly can't remember what things were like before she was here! Sure, I have vague memories of sleeping in on Saturday, clothes that were not covered in spit up, a sink not filled with bottles to be washed, and hot meals without interruptions. There was also a mythical thing called "alone time" that I believe once existed, although I can't be certain at this point.
But honestly, and as every mother will tell you, I wouldn't trade my experiences with Makenna for anything in the world. For my whole life, all I have ever wanted to be was a mom. I never had big dreams of a career. I just wanted a wonderful husband and children, a family. Chad and I have been together for eight years now, so this has been a long time in the making. We waited for the time to be just right to get married. Once we were married, we waited for the time to be just right to have a baby. We both had good jobs, we owned our own home, were settled at a church we love and near our families. I'll be honest, it was hard for me to wait so long. I am 33 years old, and starting my family so late in life was never really part of the plan. But it was completely and totally worth it to wait for the right man, the man who will be there through thick and thin, whom I love with my whole heart, and who I know will be the most amazing daddy a child could ever hope for.
And Makenna.... What can I say about this beautiful little blessing? It was quite possibly the easiest labor and delivery ever. I enjoyed every second of it and could not hold back the tears once she was finally in my arms. I had prayed for her for so long, and to finally get to see her precious face was the most joyous moment of my life.
She continues to amaze me every single day! I love seeing her smile when I get her from her bassinet in the morning, listening to her baby chatter while I change her diaper or her clothes, letting her splash me while she is in her bathtub, feeling her hand on top of mine when I am feeding her, kissing her chubby little cheeks. I even love her sweet pouty face and the fact that sometimes, she just needs mommy to hold her to make her feel better. I just love, love, LOVE being her mommy. Yes, life is good. No wait, better than that.
